Answering Machines!
by 13thShadowKnight
Summary: This is what happens when the naruto characters get phones! And me and other people leave messages on them! YAY! r&r. rated for language
1. Naruto

13sk: i dun own naruto

* * *

**Naruto's Answering Machine...**

**Machine:**

Hi. You've reach UZUMAKI NARUTO! THE NEXT HOKAGE! Yeah. Leave me a message if you want to buy me ramen. Or if you want to hang out. AND I WILL BEAT YOU SASUKE! I WILL! And I love you Sakura!(BEEP)

**Message 1:**

(Ace) Naruto? Since when did you have a phone? Oh well, I was wondering if you knew why Sakura had hearts in her eyes- never mind. I see Sasuke. And Emma will call soon, something about her shoe I think...Ummm... Bye. (BEEP)

**Message 2:**

(Sasuke) Naruto, you will never beat me. You know that right? Just making sure. (BEEP)

**Message 3: **

(Emma) HEY NARUTO! I WILL BUY YOU SOME RAMEN! Then you can help me find my shoe. I lost it. (Ace in the background) Emma, You're shoe is on your foot. (Emma) Oh, I knew that. Never mind... Bye!(BEEP)

**Message 4:**

(Sakura) NARUTO! I DEMAND YOU CHANGE YOUR MACHINE MESSAGE! I love Sasuke! AND WILL YOU STOP STALKING ME! (BEEP)

**Message 5:**

(Mysterious Stranager...) Hello... Your debt for Ichiruka Ramen is now currently 5,000$. I feel sorry for you. You're so stupid. I can't believe you'd actually become Hokage with debts like that. Man that was stupid. You need to get a life. A real one. And a real dream. Give up being Hokage. I mean, really. How do you expect people to like you if you owe huge debts. Ahem... yes. You need to pay your debts...(BEEP)

**Message 6:**

(Shikamaru) Naruto, come take your stupid ramen bowls out of my house. I know I invited you over for dinner, but that means you need to clean up too. Now. Or else...(BEEP)

**Message 7:**

(Hinata) H-Hello N-Naruto... I w-was wondering i-if y-you'd like to g-go o-out tonight... umm... n-never mind-d...(BEEP)

**Message 8:**

(George the toy car) Hi. I'm a car. A toy car. Emma lost me. I need help. How am I talking? I'm a car. A toy car. Emma wanted to name me Joe. That's the idiot who drives toy cars. No wait, taht's Moe. Joe is the Hobo that lives on the streets. Yeah. Could you tell her I'm in Mexico? Thanks. (BEEP)

**Message 9: **

(Ace) I'M TOTALLY CRAZY!

WE'LL GIVE EM A LADY!

MEN SHIRTS SHORT SKIRTS! ...(goes on until...)

MAN, I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN! (BEEP)

**Message 10:**

(Lee) Naruto! I am callin just to remind you to keep up your youthful spirit! You're in the spring time of youth! SO BE YOUTHFUL! (BEEP)

* * *

13sk: who should i do next? i'm thinking about doing gaara's answering machine...

kelsey: r&r and tell her what you want!


	2. Ace

13sk: i dun own naruto or shania twains song for the last chapta.

* * *

**Ace's Answering Machine...**

**Machine:**

Hello. This is death speaking. Leave your name, number, and soul and I'll get back to killyou as soon asI can. Bye!

**Message 1:**

(Naruto) Woah... I'm going to stop calling you now... (BEEP)

**Message 2:**

(Sasuke) I need a little help. Can you give me some place to hide. From Sakura. And Ino. And...everyone else... Call me back soon. (BEEP)

**Message 3:**

(Gaara) Ace, justletting you know that I know you stole my gourd. Give it back. Now. Or else... (BEEP)

**Message 4:**

(Emma) Hey Death, I lost my shoe again. I need help finding it. Here's my soul. (BEEP)

**Message 5:**

(Orochimaru) Hi, Ace. I was wondering if you've seen Sasuke. There are these girls over here torturing me until I tell them where he is. A little help? (BEEP)

**Message 6:**

(Itachi) Hi. I was wondering if you've seen my foolish little brother. I know he's hiding over there, so just tell him I said hi. (BEEP)

**Message 7:**

(Ino) ACE! I NEED TO FIND SASUKE! He disappeared, my poor Sasuke! I NEED YOU TO HELP ME! ( BEEP)

**Message 8:**

(Sakura) DON'T TELL INO! I know she just called. TELL ME INSTEAD OF THAT STUPID PIG! PLEASE TELL ME WHERE HE IS! (BEEP)

**Message 9:**

(TenTen) Hi, I found the weapons you were looking for. Come over when you get the chance. Bye (BEEP)

**Message 10:**

(Neji) YOU STOLE MY SHAMPOO! GIVE IT BACK RIGHT NOW! OR ELSE I'LL-(BEEP)

**Message 11:**

(Shikamaru) Take Gaara's gourd and Neji's shampoo back. And give me back my hair band. I need it. You are so troublesome. (BEEP)

**Message 12:**

(Gai) Uh, whoops. I called the wrong youthful young person. Sorry to disturb you. (BEEP)

**Message 13:**

(Gaara) DAMN YOU GIRL! YOU DYED MY HAIR PINK! PINK OF ALL COLORS! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO! And give me back my gourd.

Ace Stared at her phone. "Note to self: change name, number, and identity. Move to secluded house somewhere in Africa, and live your life to the fullest." She stared again. "When the hell did they get my phone number?"

* * *

13sk: okay, kelse, I did mine

kelse: r&r!


	3. Gaara

13sk: i dun own anything...

* * *

**Gaara's Answering Machine...**

**Machine:**

...Just leave the damn message...

**Message 1:**

(Ace) Ummm... Gaara, it's Ace, and ummm...I wanted to tell you that...IT WASN'T ME! IT WAS ALL TY'S IDEA! SHE DID IT! Well, actually, I did it-BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT! So, umm... bye... and dragon of the water stole your toothbrush... bye..(BEEP)

**Message 2:**

(Gaara) Note to Self: Kill Ace when you get the chance, then take back your gourd, dye remover, and...WHERE THE HELL IS MY TOOTHBRUSH! Well, get that back too. (BEEP)

**Message 3:**

(Ty) IT WAS SO NOT MY IDEA! IT WAS ALL HER IDEA! and don't ask howI got your phone number. I don't think you wanna know... So, just calling to tell you that IT WASN'T ME!(BEEP)

**Message 4:**

(dragon of the water) It was all Ace's idea. (BEEP)

**Message 5:**

(Ace) Oh yeah, by the way, I'm changing my name, phone number, and I'm moving to some secluded island in Africa. So don't look for me anytime so- (Sound of knocking on the door) One sec. (Answers door) AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!BUTI... BUT YOU... I WAS...oh god... (sound of phone falling)(BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP)

**Message 6:**

(Lee) ...I think I killed Ace... HOW COULD SUCH A YOUTHFUL SPIRIT GO DOWN SO SOON!(BEEP)

**Message 7:**

(Gaara'sTeddy) OMG! HI GAARA! I LOVE YOU SOOOOOO MUCH! BYE! (BEEP)

**Message 8:**

(Emma) Hi, I can't find Ace. Can you help me? (BEEP)

**Message 9:**

(Orochimaru) HELP ME FIND ACE! I KNOW SHE'S HIDING SASUKE AND THESE DAMN FANGIRLS WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! (BEEPBEEPBEEP)

**Message 10:**

(Sasuke fangirls) FIND ACE! GET HER! FORCE HER TO TELL YOU WHERE SHE'S HIDING SASUKE! (BEEP)

**Message 11:**

(Sasuke) Tell them nothing. And I never called you... (BEEP)

**Message 12:**

(Ace) I know where you live... (BEEP)

* * *

13sk: how was that? heh heh... everyone's torturing Gaara b/c they can't find me... how sad... 

kelse: tell her if you want to be in here, and who you want to call

13sk: I'll try to put you in here. if i can.

Em: r&r! or die!

everyone: O.o


	4. Sasuke

13sk: here's the next chap!

kelse: she owns nothing

13sk: by the way mouseter, Emma is my dear friend who we love to make fun of. :)

* * *

**Sasuke's Message:**

Hello this is Sasuke. If you are Naruto, leave me alone. If you are Kakashi, how did you get my phone number? If you are a fangirl, this is not Sasuke, this is Bob. If you are Itachi, I will kill you. If you are Orochimaru, leave me alone you fag! If you are Ace or any of her friends, HIDE ME! Thank you. **(BEEP)**

**Message 1:**

(Ace) YO! Wazzup home dog? Sure you can chill at my lair. Good luck runnin from them fanchics. Peace Out homey! **(BEEP)**

**Message 2: **

(Sakura) HI SASUKE! I LOVE YOU! I HOPE YOU BEAT YOUR BROTHER AND KILL HIM AND DATE ME AND I HOPE YOU KILL INO WHILE YOU'RE AT IT AND BEAT UP THAT MEANIE GAARA! BYE! I LOVE YOU!**(BEEP)**

**Message 3:**

(Ace) Hi. ignore the message I left about five minutes ago. I was eating chocolate... **(BEEP)**

**Message 4: **

(Sasuke fan club) HI SASUKE! WE LOVE YOU!**(BEEP)**

**Message 5:**

(Emma) I think I called the wrong house. I was looking for Sasuke, but you said this wasn't Sasuke, so bye.**(BEEP)**

**Message 6: **

(Ino) SASUKE! I LOVE YOU! CALL ME SOMETIME! BYE, I LOVE YOU!**(BEEP)**

**Message 7: **

(Itachi) I know where you live. I know where you sleep... (Ace in background) _YOU STOLE THAT LIVE FROM ME AND EM! DIE FOOLISH MORTAL! _**CRASH! BOOM! **(Ace) NOW I HAVE THE PHONE! And don't ask how I found your brother. I don't even know. Do you know how I found your phone number? Because I don't. Bye.**(BEEP)**

**Message 8:**

(Kakashi) Just calling to tell you not to be late for practice today.**(BEEP)**

**Message 9: **

(Demoncat5) Hello Sasuke. I'm off to tell the fan girls where you're hiding. Because it's no secret that you hide at Ace's house all the time. Good bye...**(BEEP)**

**Message 10: **

(Ty) TELL ME WHERE GAARA IS! He said he would buy me and Gaara'sTeddy candy! (Gaara'sTeddy in background) _YEAH! CANDY! TELL ME OR ELSE I'LL TELL THE FANGIRLS WHERE YOU ARE! _(Ty) I think someone else already did. (Gaara'sTeddy) _Oh... well... JUST TELL ME WHERE HE IS DAMNIT! _**(BEEP)**

**Message 11: **

(Shikamaru) Hi. I'm looking for Ace. There's an angry mob of people out here looking for her. Tell her she needs to hide. -sigh- She's so troublesome...**(BEEP)**

**Message 12: **

(Orochimaru) Sssssassssuke... I'm coming for you... **(BEEP)**

**

* * *

13sk: hola **

kesle: you mean adios

13sk: so? well, R&R!

Em: OR DIE!

13sk: taht's gettin old em.

em: oh, k then. r&r :)


End file.
